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Pain Is a Season

by Stress Dolls

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1.
Missing 00:59
2.
Mall Walker 03:36
Up to the top and down memory lane I become a mall walker on cold, relentless days Riding escalators and wandering checkered paths Like the best laid plans in my hands this route has no map Gazing in store windows I remember who I was Catching my reflection I’m reminded of who I am Ripped jeans and baby tees But you’re not like the other kids With your belly button pressed tight against your ribs Suck in the air and pray to disappear Look away and tell yourself it’s just the mirror And I can’t help but think that who’s in front of me Is exactly who I was when I was 13 And I can’t help but think that what’s inside of me Is everything I want but nothing I need It’s nothing I need
3.
We met at the bar, we were young and invested The city was fresh and it couldn’t be bested I stayed in a basement and scoured apartments Trying to make up a home out of nothing There was something to do every night and all day And I tried to keep up cause I wanted to stay I was ready for new, I was done reminiscing But I couldn’t help but feel that I was missing I’ll always remember the skyline that Tuesday Glitter and gold shining down on the highway And I’ll look back fondly on where our paths twisted But you’ll forget kindly that I ever existed
4.
Nashville 03:13
Two months since the hospital but it still feels like day one, Whether up or down I'm in my bed before the setting sun And if it sounds like a repose or a certain sense of hell, I assure you that I'm doing fine, really! Everything is swell. And I don't think twice about sunny days or the sticky Southern heat Of the pride I felt walking across that road in my bare feet I admit there's times I can't be sure if that life was meant for me Or if I'll make it back to Nashville eventually Two months back into your arms and I really can't complain, It's just now you've got me thinking hard about whether I should stay And I thought my marks were more secure and that I could depend On the words demanding permanence, on the ink left in the pen
5.
Well I hold in so much that I break capillaries in my face When I cry red spiderwebs stretch, making patterns in the space Below my eyes and down my cheeks, spanning towards my neck You only know these places because you love me back I’ll let you in these places because you love me back
6.
Noise 04:21
At times I think I let the hospital bed swallow up my hope It ate away at me night after night and I’d rather feed it than choke And I shame myself for the drama cause it feels so overdone But the truth is I don’t know another way to put it or where to run And now that I’m in my car again I flash back to your streets I see myself driving Demonbreun playing Bully on repeat And I wonder why I wanted so desperately to leave If only to get right back to where I finally found relief Sometimes I feel so angry, I get that life’s not fair Quit whining like a baby, stop screaming like you care Rip the IV from my soft side, give my discord a voice All I know is I can’t explain, I just want to make noise
7.
Take Away 03:42
Freedom in the afterglow of humid summer haze Sunsets to the west of us and starlight in the grey Lightning scattered overhead and thunder in the fray What more can you take away? Fingers falling fast off frets in shadows of moonlight Coolness tickling my neck as we sink into the night The fire fading slowly and the flames lighting your face What more can I give away?

credits

released July 24, 2020

All songs written by Chelsea O'Donnell (BMI)

Tracks 2 & 6 recorded, mixed, and produced by Charles Dusel at Lone Sound Studio
Track 4 recorded, mixed, and produced by Jason Milton at Young Lion of the West Recording
Track 5 recorded, mixed, and produced by Marc Hunt at Black Rock EPS
Tracks 1, 3, & 7 recorded on Chelsea's iPhone (haha)
Mastered by Brad Lauchert

All guitar, keyboard, piano, and vocals performed by Chelsea except:
Charles Dusel- drum sample on "Mall Walker"
Phil Dusel- bass on "Mall Walker"
Jay Milton- keyboard, bass, and back-up vocals on "Nashville"
Jeremiah O'Reilly- chorus guitar leads on "Nashville"
Sam Proia- drums on "Nashville"
Carmen O'Keefe and Liz Bassler- vocals on "Capillaries"
Nate Campese- drums on "Noise"

Album artwork by Chelsea

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Stress Dolls Buffalo, New York

Angry girl music hailing from Buffalo, NY

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